All I wanted was a G - damn lime rickey.

So me and the family were out on a nice leisurely drive and decided to drop by the local fast food joint and get the kids some ice cream. Well because I am a fat American, I though that my kids should not be the only ones partaking in the wonder that is Artic circle. I ordered my self a lime rickey.

Right when I took the first swig I was inundated with a flood of fond memories from one of my most favorite daytime DUI arrests.

There I was, minding my own business in my patrol vehicle, taking it easy. I had to report to the office in a few minutes to pick up a Reserve Officer for a ride along, so really I was not trying to attract anything to myself. But, as lady luck and her twisted sense of karma would have it, I none the less was almost T-boned while traveling through an intersection. I of course turned and stopped the vehicle in the parking lot of one of our potato processing plants. I contacted the driver and could immediately tell that she was intoxicated. I followed all of the usual procedure and had her exit the vehicle, do the SFST'S, blaa, blaa, blaa. I informed her that she was under arrest and she decide that she was not going to have that happen to her. Luckily I was able to contain and arrest her without any incident.

This is where it turns a little memorable. I have heard most every excuse and rationalization for committing a crime. DUI's come with their own unique set of them. "I only drank one or two.". "I was driving the rest home because I was the MOST sober.". One of the best was the guy who was just plain honest and told me he was an alcoholic and that he couldn't drive unless he was drunk. But what came out of this ladies mouth was priceless. This is a little snippet from the conversation I had with her.

Me- "Where were you heading to this morning?"
Susp.-"To get a G-- damn lime Ricky. You C--- Sucker."
Me- "Well I underst...."
Susp.- "A lime rickey! thats all I wanted! A G-- damn lime rickey! AHHHHRGG!!"

( of course she was in hand cuffs already by this time, and like alot of suspects she got real "tuff" once she was in the car )

Susp.- " You arrested me because I wanted a lime rickey?! I can;t beleive this s---!"
Me- "No miss, I arrested you because I believe you are intoxicated and I witnessed you driving your car."
Susp.- "G-- damn LIME RICKEY'S! They always F--- me over!"
Me- (laughing almost uncontrollably) "What did you say?"
Susp.- "You heard me, lime rickey's are responsible for this.. last time you arrested me for DUI I was going home from getting a lime rickey."

Then it hit me. I did not recognize her at first but I had arrested her for DUI before about a year or so before this. It was at about the same time in the morning, and she had almost T- boned me in an intersection that time as well. best part,... On the search incident to arrest I do remember finding a fresh lime ricky in the cup holder..

What are the odds?

"it wasn't me. It was the one armed man."

Over the past summer months, the fair city which I live and work in had been plagued by a rash of burglaries. Now this rash was not the kind that just shows up once in a while when your skin gets a little dry, and you are able to clear it up with some cortisone cream and a hot compress. No, this was the kind of rash you get after a night of bad decisions made while getting highly intoxicated and going home with someone that you picked up in a skeezy bar in Vegas. That's right, what happens in Vegas does not stay there, it hitches a ride back home with you and flares up during a leg workout in the gym, requiring medical intervention, penicillin and various voodoo spells to get rid of.
This was the kind of rash the burglaries resembled. They were done quickly, efficiently, and rather smartly. Really we had no evidence on most of them other than a few foot prints and some tool marks. Only allot of missing cash and property.
Then the call came early one morning, that the Junior High had been broken into and I was being requested to assisted with the investigation. This scene was a little different compared to the others. It was rather sloppily done and luckily for, us the burglar was caught on the video surveillance.
We got him. We all knew who it was because, well, he only has one full arm. The other is shorter caused by what appears to be a birth defect. We had all seen him around the neighborhood a number of times and the sergeant had gotten a statement from him a week earlier during another incident.
Long story short. Got a search warrant for his residence for him and the stolen property. All of those things were located during the search. He was arrested without incident. during the interrogation he admitted to all of the other burglaries that had been committed during the rash.
He eventually would plead guilty and has since been sentenced. I feel bad for him in a way. He was very cooperative, he knew he was caught. I really do believe he is a good kid who just made some really bad decisions. Hopefully he will serve his sentence and make better choices in the future.