Really rioting over this.

OK, even though I am a police officer, I understand where there might be a situation where some group of people might want to address a complaint by going to the streets of california (I didn't capitalize it on purpose because it is an improper noun) and rioting. Some things that come to mind that might instigate such a righteous riot:

stolen welfare check
stolen or missing food stamps
high on PCP
high on Methamphetamine
religious persecution
firearm persecution
out of pork rinds at the local stop and rob
my hos missing money
or heaven forbid The Mozz passes away.

But really folks, your hometown team wins and you take to the streets, tearing down trees and signs so you can build fires in the roadways? You start to throw stuff at the cops to the point of injuring them and causing severe damage to equipment payed for by your own tax money. Or tax money that you didn't pay. Wow. This is further evidence that an earthquake of biblical proportions should strike californias (again not capitalized) major fault lines, hopefully separating you from the rest of the country.

P.S. Please take new york and whatever state al gore is in at the time of said earthquake with you.

Spring is here

Ya I know it has been a while since the last post and if I thought that it mattered to many people what I write here I might apologize, but I don't think it does so I won't. I will however explain why it has been a while since my last posting.

well the job has been quite busy lately and I will just give you a quick rundown on some data from the last month here in my fair little town.
burglaries, sex crimes, runaways, deaths, and the usual assortment of other criminal activity.

now on top of that all of the burglaries were in part of a larger rash that encompassed two other counties and three other departments.

So what I am getting at is that have been busy. Enough of that. On to something more fun.


Spring is acting kind of like it wants to appear here. Spring gets me excited. I much prefer the warm weather to the bone chilling, energy sapping, frozen tundra that this place turns into in the winter. With the spring comes time to plant the gardens and watch the green grow. If i hadn't become a cop I probably would have gone into business as a owner of a green house. I love to grow stuff. There is just something about putting a seed in the ground, tending it, harvesting the plants and eating it. It is kind of rewarding the same way hunting is.

I can here it now "Wait a second Private Tower. Did you just compare gardening to hunting?" Yes I did.
"But hunting is so violent and primal it is nothing like growing a vegetable. Gardening is peace full and hunting is violent a cruel."

Get life. hunting is by far less cruel than gardening. With hunting you have to "hunt" your prey. it takes talent and actual skill. Not to say gardening doesn't, just a different kind. And if you think about the morals behind it, gardening is by far more sick and twisted. Maybe that is why I enjoy it so. Let me explain.

When you hunt you are tracking and stalking prey. If you are lucky like, me or good enough at it like others, you catch some prey and dispatch it, quickly, with a firearm or other humanely acceptable weapon. It is relatively fair if you think about it in the normal food chain sense. Not gardening.

Gardening reminds me of serial killer or other sick behavior. Think about it. You plant something and tend it. You nourish it to maturity, all along the way caring for it. Making sure it is fed and watered. You pull the weeds and exterminate harmful pests. Then when the plant, which is alive I might add, is ready, you chop it down or rip the part of its flesh off that you want and then boil it or bake it, or even more barbaric you eat it raw.

And farmers of textile plants like cotton or flax are worse. They harvest the fibers and then wear them. Sound like any famous killers ?

I love gardening. I can't wait to plant.

Seriously what is that? and,... you are gonna eat that?

So I am currently on the street covering for an officer while he takes some time off. That's right I am rocking the night shifts. I love them.... its when the crazies come out... and not just the crazy people we end up dealing with......I mean some of the fellow cops in my area. I forgot what Night shifts can do to your psychological fitness.

Take for instance the County Deputy who shall remain nameless for now. No. I will name him. We will name him Deputy Jailskettie. Yes. I know his name is a Siamese twin combination of Jail and spaghetti with the white trash pronunciation of spaghetti with a "K"... not a "G" and dropping the "H".

Deputy Jailsketti and I had just returned from a riveting call that involved trucks and smaller cars and unlawful entries and peace being disturbed, you know the usual. while sitting in the patrol room, Deputy Jailsketti informed me that he was going to get something from the jail kitchen to eat and asked if I wanted to come. Sure, I thought how bad could jail food be. I figured I would pick out a little personal pizza or maybe one of those sweet artificial bean and cheese burritos I see the inmates munching away on all the time.

well as luck would have it, I happened to be allergic to all of those things, and could not partake. Deputy Jailsketti had his eye on a bread loaf pan full of what I thought was fish bait,or autopsy souvenirs. He told me that it was spaghetti. What ever. It wasn't packaged and that means it was made by the inmate workers........ no thanks.

So he heated it up. Ate it,.......... and before I knew it he turned into a a brain eating zombie munching away on one of the dispatchers shoulder sections... wait I think that may have been a hallucination brought on by sleep deprivation.

Well I won't eat the jail food and that meant I was going to have to get something from the only place open at 2:00 a.m. Maverick. I chose a large burrito monstrosity called "the bomb".

We will see how that choice turns out tomorrow.

Best part of night shifts?..........fun calls.

Worst part?................................nutritional options.