Fortunately I can not include pictures

In the course of our duties as law enforcement officers we have the chance to run across many different types of scenes and situations. Some of them are just plain funny and other make you dead on the inside. Sometimes you have an experience that builds your faith in humanity and other times you wonder if god is watching, or if he even cares. sometimes you are amazed at the amazing stupidity that other display and then there are the times where bad things just happen. No rhyme or reason. No pattern that they fit into. They just happen. They are just accidents.
For me, these are some of the hardest to deal with. I can fathom how somebody may get angry enough to batter a person or worse, or even hurt themselves. We all have those tendencies in ourselves and at times we can loose control or otherwise fall to those tendencies.
Accidents happen to everyone. They are dictated by fate, karma, or the man upstairs, whatever you happen to believe controls the universe. This bothers me. I don't like it when things just happen. I feel like I have to believe in a cause or reason in order to accept it. Accidents rarely have a true reason why they happen. They just do.
Recently we had a medical call that involved an industrial cheese grater and the victims arm. The grater has a high speed barrel the turns and of course you feed the cheese into it and it shreds or grates the cheese. I am sure that you can appreciate what could happen to an arm when it is sucked into that type of machinery. Like I said fortunately for you I can not post pictures of it.
Why did this happen? Ok. Ok. I know, because she stuck her hand where it should not have been while the machine was on? Get out. That's not what I mean. Why does this have to happen to this person? That's what I mean. Sometimes I just don't get it.

In response to the comments about my beard

Listen folks I understand that at times Giuseppe, can be overwhelming but believe me he has made me a better man. I am stronger, more capable, and some would say more handsome for his being on my face. Though he is parasitic and his anti social behaviors can be off putting, he like most beards was grown to hide horrible "scars" or other disabilities. He conceals a very off putting skin condition that I have been suffering from for most of my life. This condition is very rare and only inflames itself into fruition about 2-3 times in ones life time. The last time it had rashed out was in the third grade and children can be horribly mean at that age. I was named everything from "Pigman" to "Foldface".

You see Giuseppe has made me whole again and if I was to shave him now I would appear as the picture indicates. Of course the picture is a dramatization, but it is toned down in the same, because current technology can't provide an accurate portrayal of the condition.

So back off of Giuseppe he is giving me the confidence to show may face in public. Oh, and my wife actually likes him, she just plays like she doesn't.

The not so friendly mutton chops

After discussing its future, with my beard, Giuseppe (as he has asked to be called) brought up a few persuasive points that can be used to sway most people into accepting his existence.

Giuseppe informed me that though, on the outside, he has fashioned himself to resemble a late Victorian style called "Friendly mutton chops", he is in all terms and in action "not so friendly mutton chops". Giuseppe requires blood sacrifice to remain appeased and open to friendly dialogue. And the last but final point he brought to my attention was that deep down he only reacts this way to constructive criticism because he was abused as a young beard.

His handler would rarely wash and condition him and quite frequently massaged him with strange but alluring aromatic oils. Occasionally, Giuseppe was allowed get a trim, but was forced through rigorous training to grow at an unnatural pace. These conditions in Giuseppe's formative years caused him to develop, what those of us in the behavioral sciences call, anti-social tendencies exacerbated by a schizoid personality disorder.

So you see, Giuseppe is a product of his upbringing and cannot be held fully responsible for his choices no matter how egregious they may be.

Recently Giuseppe communicated a desire to engage in the blood sport of white tail deer hunting. He told me that perhaps taking the life of a cute, defenseless and tick ridden forest creature, may sustain his blood lust and keep him from committing more heinous acts. As I am but a prisoner of Giuseppe's control and relentless itching, I found myself slipping deeper and deeper into relation with Giuseppe. I found myself unable to relate to outsiders and found myself identifying with his lust for the hunt. There for, in my Stockholm Syndrome induced haze, I allowed Giuseppe to hunt for a white tail on a select piece of land not far from where me and my family have been held captive by my beard.

You can see, in the gruesome photo provided, that Giuseppe had quite the aim, and that though he may be anti social in nature, even he fears the far reaching hand of the Idaho State Fish and Game. He purchased a hunting license and deer tag, which he attached to the deer immediately upon the kill. You must understand that even Giuseppe, in the throws of the blood lust, must bow to common decency and forms of etiquette, lest he be captured and dispatched before he is able to usher in the coming of the ultimate evil that is complete congressional control by the Democrats.

Giuseppe informed me that after he was done with the deers liver, which he believes he must ingest to keep his blood from turning to powder, I could have the rest of the deer to do with as I saw fit. I thank Giuseppe for his kind mercies and the deer is now in my freezer as stew, jerky and other fine cuts of meat.