Listen folks I understand that at times Giuseppe, can be overwhelming but believe me he has made me a better man. I am stronger, more capable, and some would say more handsome for his being on my face. Though he is parasitic and his anti social behaviors can be off putting, he like most beards was grown to hide horrible "scars" or other disabilities. He conceals 
a very off putting skin condition that I have been suffering from for most of my life. This condition is very rare and only inflames itself into fruition about 2-3 times in ones life time. The last time it had rashed out was in the third grade and children can be horribly mean at that age. I was named everything from "Pigman" to "Foldface".
You see Giuseppe has made me whole again and if I was to shave him now I would appear as the picture indicates. Of course the picture is a dramatization, but it is toned down in the same, because current technology can't provide an accurate portrayal of the condition.
So back off of Giuseppe he is giving me the confidence to show may face in public. Oh, and my wife actually likes him, she just plays like she doesn't.
2 comments:
Sigh. My Sammy is a hot potato no matter what, it is true. But I am scared that his furry friend is going to climb onto my face one night and I'll wake up as the Bearded Lady.
I think your beard is the cat's meow J2, I love the way it gently brushes against my face when I am having a bad day, or how it sings me Marvin Gaye songs when I'm getting dressed up for a night out at my local leather bar. I say you keep the beard, it has brought joy (and in some rare instances..death) to many people
P.S Where are my picture credits for "foldface"???
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