Leading the blind........and drunk.

That's right, I am probably gonna go to hell for this, but I could not help myself. Now before I begin know that this is meant to be humorous and that to protect the "not so innocent", names will be changed.

so, we have in this glorious town, like most towns, a town drunk. From here until eternity he shall be known as citizen "pees himself" for obvious reasons. Now this guy is actually a pretty decent guy when he is sober, if you are lucky enough to find him that way. We also don't have to worry about him hurting anyone while driving because he is blind.

The problem is when he drinks, which is more often than not, he becomes delusional and belligerent. He then calls the police for rather stupid reasons. Everyone at the department has dealt with "pees himself" numerous times and we have kind of developed a rotation of "who gets to deal with him this time" response.

It was my turn this time, when he called and told us that he had two cats in his apartment, and could not get them out. I get along with most animals, and this was before we had a animal control officer, so I volunteered to go remedy "pees himself's" situation.

When I arrived the door was open and I stepped in. The odor of booze permeated my every cell and I could see "pees himself" sitting on the couch rather stiffly. I asked him what was going on and he told me that he had two cats in his apartment and could not get them out. He told me that he had caught one already and was sitting on it, but now could not find the other one.

I kind of doubted his story from the beginning mainly because I knew if I was blind and intoxicated I would probably think I had touched two cats when there was only one. Anyway I tore his place up looking for the second cat an could not find it. I looked again... no cat. I told "pees himself" that I could not find the other cat, and that there was probably just one cat. He started to scream at me, and all that jazz, and then threw the cat that he was sitting on at me. I picked up the cat and told him I would check again for the second feline intruder.

After about one minute I informed "pees himself" that I had found the second suspect. He told me that he did not believe me. Alright this was where my true evil genius came out. I told him to come over and he could feel both of the cats. I held out the cat and he touched it. I then pulled the cat back and told him that was the first one. I then told him that he could then feel the second one. He reached out and I let him touch the same cat again. He then told me that he appreciated me catching both the cats.

Ya! tricking drunk blind people rocks.